How Does It Feel?

by Jeneane O'Riley • 2023 • 388 pages

3.75

66.0K ratings

Fantasy Romantasy Romance

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Plot Summary

Captive in a Dark Realm

Callie awakens in a dungeon

Callie finds herself in a dark, damp dungeon, shackled and surrounded by the cries of other prisoners. She struggles to remember how she ended up there, clinging to the hope of rescue. The guards, clad in black armor, treat her with disdain, believing her to be an assassin. Callie repeats her name and address like a mantra, trying to hold onto her sanity in this nightmarish realm.

The Mysterious Brown Rat

A talking rat offers hope

In her despair, Callie encounters a large brown rat that speaks to her, warning her of the dungeon's dangers and offering companionship. The rat hints at a deeper connection to the Fae world. Despite its warnings, Callie is determined to escape, using her scientific knowledge to devise a plan.

Encounter with the Smoke Prince

Callie meets her captor, Prince Mendax

Callie is brought before Prince Mendax, the ruler of the Unseelie court. His presence is overwhelming, and he accuses her of being an assassin. Despite her fear, Callie is struck by his ethereal beauty and the dark allure of his smoke-like wings. She realizes her survival depends on convincing him of her innocence.

The Forest Bog's Threat

A monstrous cellmate torments Callie

Callie's situation worsens when she shares her cell with a forest bog, a grotesque creature that feeds on fear. The bog delights in tormenting her, threatening unspeakable horrors. Callie struggles to maintain her composure, knowing her fear fuels the creature's power.

A Desperate Escape Plan

Callie uses science to escape

Determined to escape, Callie uses her scientific knowledge to create a makeshift key from the bone of the forest bog. Her plan is risky, but she knows it's her only chance to escape the dungeon and return to the human world. As she works, she reflects on the mysterious fox that saved her life.

The Assassin's Mercy

Alistair Cain spares Callie's life

Callie's escape is interrupted by Alistair Cain, the prince's personal assassin. To her surprise, he does not kill her. Instead, he offers her protection within the castle walls, sensing something unique about her. Callie is grateful for his mercy but knows she must still find a way to escape the Unseelie realm.

The Unseen Ally

Walter reveals his true form

As Callie prepares to escape, Walter, the brown rat, reveals his true identity as a shifter. He offers to help her escape the castle. Despite her initial distrust, Callie realizes Walter is her only ally. Together, they navigate the castle's corridors, seeking a way to the portal that will return Callie to the human realm.

The Bond's Unbreakable Chains

Callie learns of her bond

Callie discovers her connection to the Seelie court is deeper than she realized. Bound by a magical bond to the Seelie royal family, she is caught in a web of obligations and expectations. The bond offers her a place in the Seelie court but at the cost of her freedom. Callie must navigate the treacherous waters of Fae politics and power struggles.

A Deadly Game of Deception

Callie faces a trial of wits

Callie is thrust into a deadly game where the stakes are her life. She must choose between two doors, one leading to freedom and the other to certain death. The trial tests her resolve and ability to see through deception. Callie must rely on her instincts and subtle clues to survive.

The Beast Behind the Door

A monstrous challenge awaits Callie

Callie confronts a terrifying beast, a creature of nightmares that stands between her and her freedom. The beast is a manifestation of the dangers in the Fae world. As Callie battles the beast, she must draw on all her strength and cunning to survive, confronting her fears and the reality of her situation.

Betrayal's Bitter Sting

Callie faces a betrayal

Callie is betrayed by someone she trusted, leaving her questioning everything she thought she knew. The betrayal is a catalyst for change, forcing Callie to reevaluate her alliances and her place in the Fae world. It is a painful reminder of the cost of trust and the dangers of deception.

The Unseen Puppet Master

The true manipulator is revealed

The true puppet master behind Callie's trials is unveiled. The manipulator has been orchestrating events to serve their own ends. As Callie uncovers the truth, she must confront the reality of her situation and the forces that have shaped her journey. The revelation forces Callie to take control of her destiny and fight for her freedom.

Characters

Callie Peterson

Determined and resourceful captive

Callie is a young environmentalist and biological technician trapped in the Unseelie realm. Her scientific knowledge and resourcefulness are her greatest assets. Callie's compassion for animals and her ability to connect with them hint at a deeper connection to the Fae world. Her journey is one of self-discovery and inner conflict.

Prince Mendax

Cold and powerful Unseelie prince

Prince Mendax is the ruler of the Unseelie court, a realm filled with darkness and danger. His ethereal beauty and smoke-like wings make him both alluring and terrifying. Mendax despises humans but is intrigued by Callie's resilience and mysterious aura.

Alistair Cain (Shivers)

Merciful assassin with a mysterious past

Alistair Cain, known as Shivers, is the prince's personal assassin. Despite his fearsome reputation, he spares Callie's life, sensing something unique about her. His decision to protect her hints at a deeper connection between them.

Walter

Loyal shifter and unexpected ally

Walter is a shifter who initially appears as a large brown rat. He becomes Callie's only friend in the dungeon, offering her companionship and information. His loyalty to Callie suggests a deeper connection to her fate.

The Forest Bog

Grotesque creature that feeds on fear

The forest bog is a monstrous creature that shares Callie's cell. It delights in tormenting her, feeding on her fear and threatening unspeakable horrors. Its presence is a constant reminder of the dangers in the Unseelie realm.

Queen Tenebris

A manipulative and powerful queen

Queen Tenebris is the ruler of the Unseelie court, a figure of cunning and ambition. Her role in Callie's trials is one of manipulation and control, as she seeks to maintain her power and influence.

Prince Aurelius

A loyal and conflicted ally

Prince Aurelius is a member of the Seelie court, a figure of loyalty and inner conflict. His relationship with Callie is one of friendship and tension, as he grapples with his own feelings and the expectations of his court.

Queen Saracen

A powerful and enigmatic ruler

Queen Saracen is the ruler of the Seelie court, a figure of power and mystery. Her role in Callie's journey is one of guidance and manipulation, as she seeks to maintain her influence and control.

Plot Devices

The Portal of Destroying Angels

Gateway between realms and source of mystery

The portal of destroying angel mushrooms transports Callie from the human world to the Unseelie realm. Its mysterious nature and connection to the luna moths suggest a deeper significance. The portal represents Callie's journey into a world of magic and danger.

The Mysterious Fox

Enigmatic creature with unknown motives

The shimmering golden fox appears at critical moments in Callie's journey. Its presence in both the human and Unseelie realms suggests a deeper connection to Callie's fate. The fox's actions hint at a larger plan involving her.

The Bond

A magical connection with consequences

The bond ties Callie to the Seelie court, offering her a place in the Fae world but at the cost of her freedom. It symbolizes the choices Callie must make and the sacrifices she must endure.

The Trial

A test of loyalty and cunning

The trial tests Callie's resolve and ability to see through deception. It reflects the larger game played by the Fae, where nothing is as it seems and trust is rare.

Analysis

A tale of identity and power

"How Does It Feel?" explores themes of identity, power, and the struggle for freedom. Callie's journey is one of self-discovery, as she navigates the complexities of the Fae world and her own inner conflicts. The book delves into the dangers of deception and the cost of trust, highlighting the importance of self-determination and the power of loyalty. Through Callie's trials, the story examines the intricate web of Fae politics and the battle for control between the Seelie and Unseelie courts. Ultimately, the book is a reminder of the strength found in resilience and the courage to forge one's own path.

Last updated: February 2, 2025

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FAQ

Synopsis & Basic Details

What is How Does It Feel? about?

Fae realm abduction : Callie Peterson, an environmental scientist, is unexpectedly transported to the Unseelie Fae realm, where she is imprisoned and mistaken for an assassin.
Survival and escape : The story follows Callie's desperate attempts to survive the dangers of the Unseelie court, including a monstrous cellmate and a series of deadly trials.
Complex relationships : Callie forms unexpected alliances and connections with both Fae and creatures, blurring the lines between friend and foe as she navigates the treacherous world.

Why should I read How Does It Feel??

Unique Fae world : The novel offers a fresh take on the Fae realm, with a focus on the darker, more dangerous Unseelie court and its complex power dynamics.
Strong female lead : Callie is a resourceful and determined protagonist who uses her intelligence and compassion to survive, making her a compelling character to follow.
Intriguing plot twists : The story is full of unexpected turns and betrayals, keeping readers engaged and guessing until the very end.

What is the background of How Does It Feel??

Magical Fae realm : The story is set in a fictional world where the Unseelie Fae exist, a realm of darkness and power, contrasting with the more benevolent Seelie court.
Human world connection : The human world is connected to the Fae realm through portals, and the story explores the consequences of this connection, including the Fae's interest in humans.
Political intrigue : The Unseelie court is rife with political tension, power struggles, and a deep-seated hatred for humans, creating a complex and dangerous environment.

What are the most memorable quotes in How Does It Feel??

"To you. My hope is not that you finish this book, but that this book finishes you." : This quote from the author's note sets a tone of intense immersion and transformation for the reader.
"I will go back to sleep after I kill you and use you slowly, you human piece of shit," : This quote from the forest bog highlights the brutal and dehumanizing nature of the Unseelie realm.
"You're like a goddamn Disney princess." : This recurring line, often said by Cliff, underscores Callie's unique connection with animals and the magical elements of the story.

What writing style, narrative choices, and literary techniques does Jeneane O'Riley use?

First-person perspective : The story is told from Callie's point of view, allowing readers to experience her thoughts, emotions, and reactions directly.
Vivid descriptions : O'Riley uses rich and detailed descriptions to bring the Fae realm to life, creating a sense of atmosphere and immersion.
Foreshadowing and symbolism : The author employs subtle hints and recurring symbols to foreshadow future events and deepen the story's themes.

Hidden Details & Subtle Connections

What are some minor details that add significant meaning?

Callie's V-shaped scar: The scar on Callie's palm, a result of a childhood encounter with a fairy, symbolizes her lifelong connection to the magical world and foreshadows her destiny.
The color red : The recurring use of the color red, from the blood-painted walls to the queen's dress, symbolizes danger, passion, and the violent nature of the Unseelie court.
The black smoke : The black smoke associated with Prince Mendax's wings and powers represents his dark nature and the oppressive atmosphere of the Unseelie realm.

What are some subtle foreshadowing and callbacks?

The gas station mushrooms : Callie's initial interest in the Amanita muscaria mushrooms foreshadows her later use of mycelium and her connection to the destroying angel mushrooms.
Dorothy the turkey : Dorothy's gimpy wing and Callie's attempts to heal it foreshadow Callie's own healing and resilience in the face of adversity.
Crazy Earl's knowledge : Crazy Earl's seemingly random comments about the woods and mushrooms foreshadow his true identity and his connection to the destroying angels.

What are some unexpected character connections?

Alistair and Callie: The unexpected bond between Alistair Cain (Shivers) and Callie, despite his role as an assassin, highlights the complexity of the Fae and the potential for compassion in unexpected places.
Walter and Callie: The revelation of Walter's true form as a shifter and his connection to the Seelie court adds a layer of complexity to his role as Callie's ally.
Earl and Callie: The connection between Callie and Earl, both scientists with a passion for the natural world, reveals a shared understanding and a potential for collaboration.

Who are the most significant supporting characters?

Alistair Cain (Shivers): As the prince's assassin, he plays a crucial role in Callie's survival and challenges her perceptions of the Unseelie Fae.
Walter: His dual identity as a rat and a shifter makes him a complex and important ally, providing Callie with crucial information and support.
Queen Tenebris: As the ruler of the Unseelie court, she is a powerful and manipulative figure who shapes Callie's journey and tests her resolve.

Psychological, Emotional, & Relational Analysis

What are some unspoken motivations of the characters?

Prince Mendax's internal conflict: Despite his cold exterior, Mendax is drawn to Callie, and his actions reveal a hidden struggle between his desire for power and his growing feelings for her.
Callie's need for connection: Callie's compassion for animals and her desire for friendship reveal a deep-seated need for connection and belonging, stemming from her past traumas.
Walter's guilt and loyalty: Walter's actions are driven by a sense of guilt for his past actions and a deep loyalty to Callie, making him a complex and conflicted character.

What psychological complexities do the characters exhibit?

Callie's trauma and resilience: Callie's past losses and her experiences in the Unseelie realm lead to a complex mix of vulnerability and strength, making her a compelling and relatable character.
Mendax's internal struggle: Mendax's internal conflict between his desire for power and his growing feelings for Callie highlights the complexities of his character and his struggle with his own darkness.
Walter's divided loyalties: Walter's internal conflict between his loyalty to the Seelie court and his desire to protect Callie reveals the complexities of his character and his struggle with his own identity.

What are the major emotional turning points?

Callie's rejection from the LMS: The rejection from the Lepidoptera Migratory Society is a major emotional turning point for Callie, forcing her to reevaluate her goals and her place in the world.
Callie's encounter with the fox: The encounter with the shimmering fox is a turning point for Callie, as it awakens her connection to the magical world and sets her on a path of self-discovery.
Callie's bond with Mendax: The forced bond with Mendax is a major emotional turning point, as it forces her to confront her feelings for him and the complexities of their relationship.

How do relationship dynamics evolve?

Callie and Cliff: The relationship between Callie and Cliff evolves from a friendly camaraderie to a more complex dynamic, highlighting the challenges of navigating relationships in a small town.
Callie and Earl: The relationship between Callie and Earl evolves from a casual acquaintance to a deep friendship, highlighting the importance of shared interests and understanding.
Callie and Mendax: The relationship between Callie and Mendax evolves from captor and captive to a complex dynamic of attraction, conflict, and a shared connection, highlighting the power of love and hate.

Interpretation & Debate

Which parts of the story remain ambiguous or open-ended?

The true nature of the fox : The fox's true nature and motives remain ambiguous, leaving readers to wonder about its role in Callie's journey and its connection to the Fae world.
The origins of the destroying angels : The origins and purpose of the destroying angel mushrooms remain unclear, leaving readers to speculate about their significance and their connection to the Fae realm.
The future of the Unseelie court : The future of the Unseelie court and its relationship with the human world remains open-ended, leaving readers to wonder about the long-term consequences of Callie's actions.

What are some debatable, controversial scenes or moments in How Does It Feel??

Callie's attraction to Mendax: Callie's attraction to her captor, Prince Mendax, is a controversial element of the story, raising questions about the nature of love and power dynamics.
The violence and gore : The graphic violence and gore in the story may be disturbing to some readers, raising questions about the author's use of these elements.
The forced bond : The forced bond between Callie and Mendax is a controversial element of the story, raising questions about consent and the nature of free will.

How Does It Feel? Ending Explained: How It Ends & What It Means

Callie's betrayal of Mendax: Callie's decision to betray Mendax and leave him for dead is a complex and controversial ending, highlighting the themes of self-preservation and the cost of love.
Callie's escape: Callie's escape from the Unseelie realm is a bittersweet victory, as she leaves behind a part of herself and the complex relationships she has formed.
The open-ended conclusion : The open-ended conclusion leaves readers to wonder about Callie's future and the long-term consequences of her actions, suggesting that her journey is far from over.