Living with the Monks Summary

Living with the Monks

What Turning Off My Phone Taught Me about Happiness, Gratitude, and Focus
by Jesse Itzler 2018 304 pages
3.84
2.9K ratings

Key Takeaways

1. Embrace discomfort and push your limits to grow

"When you want to quit… get uncomfortable. And Remember Tomorrow."

Growth through challenge. Pushing beyond your comfort zone is essential for personal growth and development. The monastery experience, while initially uncomfortable, provided valuable insights and opportunities for self-improvement.

Overcoming resistance. When faced with the urge to quit or give up, remember that discomfort is often a sign of growth. By persevering through challenges, you build resilience and expand your capabilities.

Benefits of embracing discomfort:

  • Increased self-awareness
  • Enhanced problem-solving skills
  • Greater adaptability
  • Improved confidence

Long-term perspective. The "Remember Tomorrow" principle encourages you to consider how you'll feel about your decisions in the future. This mindset helps overcome short-term discomfort for long-term gain and personal satisfaction.

2. Cultivate presence and focus through monotasking

"Monotasking has become second nature to me. I enjoy washing dishes and cleaning floors. It's amazing how much better my production is when I focus solely on one task."

Power of single-focus. Concentrating on one task at a time allows for deeper engagement and improved productivity. The monastery's emphasis on mindful, focused work highlights the benefits of monotasking in our often-distracted world.

Mindfulness in action. Approaching routine tasks with full attention can transform them from mundane chores into opportunities for mindfulness and personal growth. This practice cultivates a sense of presence and appreciation for the present moment.

Techniques for developing monotasking skills:

  • Set specific time blocks for tasks
  • Remove potential distractions (e.g., silence notifications)
  • Practice mindfulness meditation
  • Start with short periods and gradually increase duration

3. Find meaning and purpose by defining your "why"

"If your why is big enough, the how usually emerges. A big why crushes smaller obstacles every time."

Importance of purpose. Understanding your fundamental motivations and goals provides direction and resilience in the face of challenges. The monastery experience emphasized the critical nature of having a clear "why" in life.

Discovering your why. Reflect on your values, passions, and long-term aspirations to uncover your core motivations. This self-awareness can guide decision-making and help maintain focus on what truly matters.

Questions to help define your "why":

  • What activities make you lose track of time?
  • What issues or causes deeply resonate with you?
  • What legacy do you want to leave behind?
  • What would you do if money were no object?

4. Build mental toughness through small, consistent actions

"It's the small things you do during the day that build your character and grit."

Power of habit. Developing mental toughness and resilience comes from consistently challenging yourself in small ways. The monks' dedication to seemingly minor tasks exemplifies how daily habits shape character.

Grit as a predictor of success. Research suggests that grit – perseverance and passion for long-term goals – is a key indicator of future success. By cultivating grit through small, consistent actions, you lay the foundation for achieving larger goals.

Ways to build mental toughness:

  • Complete tasks fully, no matter how small
  • Set and stick to a morning routine
  • Practice delayed gratification
  • Regularly step out of your comfort zone
  • Embrace failure as a learning opportunity

5. Reframe your relationship with time for better prioritization

"When you put time in perspective, you realize what's important and you reprioritize things."

Time scarcity mindset. Recognizing the finite nature of time can lead to more intentional living. The monastery experience highlighted the importance of using time wisely and prioritizing what truly matters.

Quality over quantity. Rather than trying to do everything, focus on making the most of the time you have. This perspective shift can lead to more meaningful experiences and relationships.

Strategies for better time management:

  • Regularly assess your priorities
  • Use time-blocking techniques
  • Eliminate or delegate low-value tasks
  • Practice saying "no" to non-essential commitments
  • Schedule time for important relationships and self-care

6. Emulate the success habits of high achievers

"The monks have a process similar to all of the other greats I've ever interacted with."

Common traits of success. Observing the monks' daily routines revealed similarities with other high achievers across various fields. These shared habits and approaches can be adapted to improve personal effectiveness.

Developing a personal process. Create a structured approach to your day and work that aligns with your goals and natural rhythms. Consistency in these processes can lead to increased productivity and success.

Key habits of high achievers:

  • Early rising and productive morning routines
  • Clear daily planning and prioritization
  • Efficient time management and focused work periods
  • Calm problem-solving under pressure
  • Continuous learning and self-improvement

7. Measure and actively work to increase your happiness

"Identifying what keeps you from being happier is the first step. When you begin working to remove the obstacles, you are taking the next steps to an A+."

Happiness as a skill. Recognizing that happiness can be cultivated and improved is empowering. The monastery experience emphasized the importance of actively working on personal contentment.

Self-assessment and improvement. Regularly evaluating your happiness and identifying obstacles allows for targeted improvement. This proactive approach can lead to significant increases in overall life satisfaction.

Steps to increase happiness:

  1. Assess your current happiness level (1-10 scale)
  2. Identify 2-3 main factors reducing your happiness
  3. Develop specific plans to address these factors
  4. Regularly reassess and adjust your approach
  5. Practice gratitude and mindfulness daily

8. Learn to ignore distractions and stay focused on your goals

"Dodge the arrows."

Recognizing distractions. Identifying the various "arrows" or distractions in your life is crucial for maintaining focus on your goals. The monastery's distraction-free environment highlighted the impact of external influences on productivity and wellbeing.

Developing focus. Like the trained dogs at the monastery, humans can learn to ignore distractions and stay committed to their objectives. This skill requires practice and consistent effort but yields significant rewards in goal achievement.

Types of distractions to be aware of:

  • External interruptions (e.g., notifications, requests for time)
  • Internal thoughts and doubts
  • Environmental factors
  • Competing priorities or opportunities

Strategies for improving focus:

  • Create a distraction-free work environment
  • Practice mindfulness meditation
  • Set clear, specific goals
  • Use time-blocking techniques
  • Regularly reassess and recommit to priorities

9. Make time for deep thinking and self-reflection

"Giving ourselves time to think is one of the best investments we can make—and there's no risk."

Value of contemplation. In our fast-paced, information-saturated world, dedicating time for deep thinking and self-reflection is crucial. The monastery experience emphasized the importance of this often-neglected practice.

Improved decision-making. Regular periods of deep thinking can lead to better problem-solving, increased creativity, and more informed decision-making. This practice allows for a more thoughtful and intentional approach to life.

Ways to incorporate deep thinking:

  • Schedule regular "thinking time" in your calendar
  • Practice journaling or free writing
  • Take solo walks in nature
  • Engage in meditation or mindfulness practices
  • Limit input from external sources periodically

10. Live with intention and create meaningful experiences

"We only have two kinds of memories in our life, ones that we can't control and the ones that we create."

Intentional living. Actively choosing how to spend your time and energy leads to a more fulfilling life. The monastery experience highlighted the importance of living deliberately and creating meaningful memories.

Creating lasting impact. By focusing on experiences and relationships that align with your values and goals, you can build a life rich in positive memories and personal growth.

Ideas for intentional living:

  • Regularly reassess and align your actions with your values
  • Seek out new experiences and challenges
  • Invest time in nurturing important relationships
  • Set specific, meaningful goals for personal growth
  • Practice gratitude for daily experiences
  • Volunteer or contribute to causes you care about

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