When the Adults Change, Everything Changes

Key Takeaways

1. Consistency and kindness are the cornerstones of effective behavior management

The consistency that is required to create rapid seismic improvements in behaviour is one that is worth fighting for. It is the kind of consistency that great parents have.

Visible consistency is crucial for creating a positive behavior culture in schools. This means that all adults in the school environment should respond to behavior in a predictable, calm, and kind manner. Consistency doesn't mean rigidity or zero-tolerance policies, but rather a unified approach that students can rely on.

• Key elements of consistency:
  • Clear expectations communicated regularly
  • Predictable consequences for both positive and negative behavior
  • All staff members following the same procedures
  • Consistent language and tone when addressing behavior

By coupling consistency with kindness, educators create an environment where students feel safe, respected, and motivated to meet expectations. This approach builds trust and fosters positive relationships between students and staff, ultimately leading to improved behavior and academic success.

2. Recognize and reinforce positive behavior to create a culture of excellence

What works is the immediacy of response, not the weight of the sanction.

First attention for best conduct is a powerful strategy for shaping behavior. Instead of focusing on punishing negative behavior, educators should prioritize recognizing and reinforcing positive actions. This approach creates a culture where students strive to exceed expectations rather than simply avoiding punishment.

Effective ways to recognize positive behavior:

• Verbal praise and specific feedback
• Recognition boards in classrooms
• Positive notes or phone calls home
• Special privileges or responsibilities
• Celebration assemblies or events

By consistently acknowledging students who go "over and above," schools create a positive feedback loop that encourages more students to engage in desirable behaviors. This shift in focus from punishment to recognition helps build a school culture centered on excellence and mutual respect.

3. Develop universal microscripts to respond consistently to challenging behavior

Strip out the negative emotion and be professionally rational. I mean completely strip it out.

Scripted interventions provide a consistent and emotionally neutral way to address challenging behavior. By developing and using universal microscripts, educators can respond to difficult situations without escalating emotions or engaging in power struggles.

Key elements of effective microscripts:

• Brief (30 seconds or less)
• Emotionally neutral tone
• Focus on the behavior, not the person
• Remind the student of past positive behavior
• Clear expectations for moving forward

Example microscript:
"I noticed you're having trouble getting started. Remember last week when you completed your work so efficiently? That's who I need to see today. Take a moment to refocus, and let me know if you need help. Thank you for listening."

By using these scripted responses, teachers can maintain consistency and professionalism even in challenging situations, ultimately leading to more positive outcomes and stronger relationships with students.

4. Replace punishment with restorative practices to build relationships and teach accountability

Punishment doesn't teach better behaviour, restorative conversations do.

Restorative practices focus on repairing harm and rebuilding relationships rather than simply punishing misbehavior. This approach teaches students to take responsibility for their actions and understand the impact of their behavior on others.

Key elements of restorative practices:

• Facilitated conversations between those involved in conflicts
• Focus on understanding the harm caused and how to make amends
• Emphasis on learning from mistakes rather than punishment
• Opportunities for students to reflect on their choices and develop empathy

Restorative questions to guide conversations:

1. What happened?
2. What were you thinking at the time?
3. Who has been affected by your actions?
4. How can we make things right?

By implementing restorative practices, schools can reduce reliance on punitive measures like detentions and suspensions, which often fail to address the root causes of behavior issues. Instead, students learn valuable social-emotional skills and develop a sense of community and accountability.

5. Understand the impact of trauma and attachment on behavior to provide appropriate support

Trauma and attachment disorder create gaps in empathy that can take a lifetime to heal.

Trauma-informed approach recognizes that many challenging behaviors stem from past experiences of trauma or attachment issues. By understanding this connection, educators can respond with empathy and provide appropriate support rather than relying on punishment.

Key considerations for supporting students with trauma or attachment issues:

• Create a predictable and safe environment
• Build strong, trusting relationships with students
• Use calm, consistent responses to challenging behavior
• Provide opportunities for emotional regulation and self-soothing
• Collaborate with mental health professionals and support services

By adopting a trauma-informed approach, schools can better meet the needs of all students, particularly those who have experienced adversity. This understanding helps educators move away from asking "What's wrong with you?" to "What happened to you?" fostering a more compassionate and effective learning environment.

6. Simplify behavior policies to focus on core values and expectations

The best schools have a sign above the door regardless of what context they are working in, which says, 'This is how we do it here.'

Streamlined behavior policies are more effective than complex, rule-heavy approaches. By focusing on a few core values and expectations, schools can create a clear and consistent culture that is easily understood and followed by all members of the community.

Elements of an effective, simplified behavior policy:

• 3-5 core rules or values (e.g., "Ready, Respectful, Safe")
• Clear expectations for different areas of the school
• Consistent language used by all staff members
• Focus on teaching and reinforcing positive behaviors
• Simple, fair consequences for misbehavior

By simplifying policies and focusing on core values, schools can create a more positive and inclusive environment where students and staff have a shared understanding of expectations and can work together to maintain a productive learning atmosphere.

7. Adult behavior sets the tone for student behavior and school culture

The elephant in the room is adult behaviour. You can buy in the best behaviour tracking software, introduce 24/7 detentions and scream 'No excuses' as often as you want, but the solution lies with the behaviour of the adults.

Model expected behavior is crucial for creating a positive school culture. Adults in the school community must consistently demonstrate the behavior they expect from students, as children are more likely to follow examples than rules.

Key aspects of adult behavior that impact school culture:

• Emotional regulation and calm responses to challenges
• Consistent enforcement of expectations
• Respectful communication with students and colleagues
• Enthusiasm for learning and positive attitudes
• Willingness to admit mistakes and apologize when necessary

By focusing on improving adult behavior, schools can create a more positive and respectful environment that naturally encourages better student behavior. This approach recognizes that change starts with the adults in the building and that their actions have a powerful influence on the overall school culture.

8. Use routines and rituals to create a predictable and safe learning environment

People like repetition. The brain has pattern receptors that constantly look out for them.

Establish keystone routines to create a sense of predictability and safety in the classroom. These routines help students feel secure and understand what is expected of them, reducing anxiety and behavior issues.

Examples of effective classroom routines:

• Consistent entry and exit procedures
• Clear transitions between activities
• Regular check-ins or reflection times
• Predictable consequences for positive and negative behavior
• End-of-day or end-of-week rituals

By implementing and consistently following these routines, teachers can create a structured environment that supports learning and positive behavior. Routines also help students develop important executive functioning skills and self-regulation abilities, which are crucial for success both in and out of school.

9. Avoid power struggles and secondary behaviors to maintain control and respect

Chasing secondary behaviours is like a butcher's shop. Fruitless.

Focus on primary behaviors to avoid escalating conflicts and maintain control of the situation. Secondary behaviors, such as eye-rolling, muttering, or slamming doors, are often attempts to divert attention from the original issue or provoke a reaction from the adult.

Strategies for avoiding power struggles:

• Stay focused on the primary behavior or expectation
• Use non-verbal cues and proximity to redirect behavior
• Provide choices rather than ultimatums
• Give students time and space to comply
• Address secondary behaviors privately, if necessary

By refusing to engage in power struggles or react to secondary behaviors, educators can maintain their authority and respect while avoiding unnecessary escalations. This approach helps keep interactions focused on the core issue and supports a more positive and productive learning environment.

Last updated: January 24, 2025

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