Better Than Before

Key Takeaways

1. Self-knowledge is crucial for effective habit formation

To understand how people are able to change, I must understand habits.

Know yourself first. Understanding your own tendencies, preferences, and motivations is essential for creating lasting habits. This self-knowledge allows you to tailor habit strategies to your unique personality and circumstances, making them more likely to stick.

Identify your distinctions. Consider factors such as:

• Are you a morning person or night owl?
• Do you prefer working in short bursts or long marathons?
• Are you an underbuyer or overbuyer?
• Do you thrive on simplicity or abundance?
• Are you a finisher or an opener?

By recognizing these personal traits, you can design habits that align with your natural inclinations, increasing your chances of success.

2. The Four Tendencies shape how we respond to expectations

Habits were the key to understanding how people were able to change. But why did habits make it possible for people to change?

Understanding the Four Tendencies. Gretchen Rubin identifies four main tendencies that describe how people respond to inner and outer expectations:

1. Upholders: Readily meet both inner and outer expectations
2. Questioners: Question all expectations and meet them only if they make sense
3. Obligers: Easily meet outer expectations but struggle with inner ones
4. Rebels: Resist all expectations, both inner and outer

Tailor strategies to tendencies. Knowing your tendency helps you choose the most effective habit-forming strategies:

• Upholders may benefit from clear rules and schedules
• Questioners need strong reasons and justifications
• Obligers thrive with external accountability
• Rebels respond best to choice and autonomy

By aligning habit strategies with your tendency, you can overcome common obstacles and create lasting change.

3. Foundation habits support overall habit development

First things first.

Focus on the fundamentals. Certain foundational habits have an outsized impact on our ability to form and maintain other good habits. These include:

1. Sleep: Prioritize getting enough quality sleep
2. Move: Incorporate regular physical activity
3. Eat and drink right: Make healthy food choices
4. Unclutter: Maintain an organized environment

Domino effect. By establishing these core habits, you create a positive ripple effect throughout your life. For example:

• Good sleep improves decision-making and willpower
• Regular exercise boosts energy and mood
• Healthy eating supports overall well-being
• An organized space reduces stress and increases focus

Investing time and energy in these foundation habits makes it easier to tackle other habit changes and improvements in various areas of life.

4. Scheduling and accountability are pillars of habit formation

If it's on the calendar, it happens.

Make it concrete. Scheduling specific times for your desired habits removes the need for daily decision-making and reduces the chances of procrastination. By treating your habits like important appointments, you increase the likelihood of follow-through.

Create external accountability. Many people, especially Obligers, benefit greatly from external accountability. This can take various forms:

• Workout buddies or study groups
• Public commitments or progress tracking
• Coaches or mentors
• Apps that send reminders or track progress

The combination of scheduling and accountability creates a powerful framework for habit formation, making it harder to skip or forget your intended behaviors.

5. The best time to begin a habit is now

It's enough to begin.

Seize the moment. The most important step in habit formation is simply starting. Don't wait for the perfect conditions or a specific date – begin now, even if it's with a small action.

Leverage clean slates. While you can start anytime, certain life changes provide natural "clean slates" that make habit formation easier:

• Moving to a new home
• Starting a new job
• Beginning a new year or season
• Recovering from an illness

These transitions offer opportunities to reset routines and establish new patterns of behavior. However, remember that you don't need to wait for these moments to make positive changes.

Start small. If a habit seems daunting, begin with a tiny version of it. For example:

• Instead of an hour-long workout, start with five minutes of exercise
• Rather than overhauling your entire diet, begin by adding one vegetable to each meal

Small starts build momentum and make it easier to expand the habit over time.

6. Strategies to manage desire, ease, and excuses in habit formation

We manage what we monitor.

Monitor your behavior. Tracking your habits increases awareness and often leads to improvement, even without conscious effort. Use tools like apps, journals, or simple checklists to keep tabs on your progress.

Make it convenient. Remove obstacles that make good habits difficult and add friction to bad habits. For example:

• Keep healthy snacks easily accessible
• Put your gym clothes out the night before
• Use website blockers to limit distracting sites

Identify loopholes. Be aware of common excuses we use to break habits, such as:

• Moral licensing: "I've been good, so I deserve this treat"
• False choice: "I can't exercise because I need to work"
• Lack of control: "I have no choice in this situation"

By recognizing these loopholes, you can prepare counterarguments and stay on track.

Use abstaining or moderation. Depending on your personality, you may find it easier to give up a temptation entirely (abstaining) or to indulge in moderation. Know which approach works best for you and apply it consistently.

7. Understanding our unique nature and how others influence our habits

Not everyone is like me.

Embrace your uniqueness. Recognize that what works for others may not work for you. Be willing to experiment and adapt strategies to fit your personal preferences and circumstances.

Consider identity. Our habits often reflect how we see ourselves. Aligning new habits with your desired identity can make them more compelling and easier to maintain. For example, "I'm the kind of person who exercises regularly" can be a powerful motivator.

Harness social influence. Our habits are greatly affected by those around us. Use this to your advantage by:

• Surrounding yourself with people who have habits you want to adopt
• Sharing your goals with supportive friends or family
• Joining groups or communities focused on your desired habits

Remember that while others can be a positive influence, ultimately, the power to change lies within you. Use these strategies to create an environment that supports your habit goals while staying true to your unique nature.

Last updated: January 22, 2025

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