How to Be Ultra Spiritual

12 1/2 Steps to Spiritual Superiority

by J.P. Sears • 2017 • 272 pages

3.55

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Humor Spirituality Self Help

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Key Takeaways

1. Embrace competitive spirituality to assert your superiority

There should be a very intentional, yet subtly expressed, competitive element to everything you do in your spiritual practice if you wish to become Ultra Spiritual.

Spiritual one-upmanship. Competitive spirituality is the foundation of Ultra Spirituality. It's not about personal growth, but about proving you're more evolved than others. Use quantifiable metrics to establish your superiority:

Meditation duration: "I meditate for one hour every morning"
Yoga experience: "I've been practicing for 20 years"
Dietary restrictions: "I'm a raw vegan"

Strategic humility. Paradoxically, appearing humble can make you seem more spiritual. Use phrases like "I'm not judging you" or "I'm just making an observation" to criticize others while maintaining a veneer of enlightenment.

Spiritual materialism. Invest in visible markers of spirituality:

Expensive yoga gear
Exotic prayer beads
Prominently displayed Buddha statues

2. Cultivate mindfullessness over mindfulness for spiritual growth

Mindfullessness is all of the fullness of mindfulness with none of the mind.

Embrace impulsiveness. True spirituality comes from acting without thinking. Make major life decisions based on gut feelings or "spiritual guidance" rather than careful consideration.

Reject rational thought. Claim that your actions are guided by:

Intuition
Channeled messages
Cosmic knowingness

Practice selective awareness. Ignore inconvenient facts or contradictory information that challenges your spiritual beliefs. Focus only on experiences and ideas that confirm your elevated status.

3. Master the art of nonjudgmental judgment

Remind people often, "I'm not judging you." They'll surely not feel judged.

Reframe judgments as observations. Instead of saying "You're selfish," say "I observe that you often prioritize your own needs." This allows you to criticize while maintaining spiritual superiority.

Employ spiritual bypassing. Use spiritual concepts to avoid addressing real issues:

"Everything happens for a reason"
"It's all part of your soul's journey"
"You chose this experience before incarnating"

Practice aggressive compassion. Accept people for who you want them to be, rather than who they are. This allows you to feel spiritually superior while still trying to change others.

4. Leverage yoga and veganism for spiritual street cred

Yoga is the gateway that brings more flow into your life—the flow of spirituality.

Yoga as performance art. Focus on the aesthetic and competitive aspects of yoga rather than inner growth:

Post photos of advanced poses on social media
Wear expensive, eye-catching yoga outfits
Drop Sanskrit terms in casual conversation

Veganism as moral superiority. Use your diet as a platform to judge others:

Loudly proclaim your vegan status at every opportunity
Share graphic videos of factory farming on social media
Guilt-trip friends and family about their food choices

Spiritual materialism in practice. Invest in products that showcase your commitment:

Crystal-infused water bottles
Ethically sourced, organic cotton yoga mats
Overpriced superfoods and supplements

5. Adopt a guru to bypass personal responsibility

Your guru delivers prepackaged enlightenment right to your doorstep, only better because it's packaged inside of him.

Guru worship. Surrender your critical thinking to a charismatic leader:

Follow their teachings without question
Defend them against any criticism
Attribute all positive changes in your life to their influence

Financial devotion. Show your commitment through monetary offerings:

Pay for expensive retreats and workshops
Make regular donations to the guru or their organization
Purchase guru-endorsed products and services

Cultivate dependency. Believe that you cannot progress spiritually without the guru's guidance:

Consult the guru for all major life decisions
Interpret all experiences through the lens of the guru's teachings
Recruit others to follow the guru, expanding their influence

6. Harness the power of plant medicines for instant enlightenment

Plant medicines let you experience a degree of enlightenment that you aren't enlightened enough to experience without the spirit who lives inside its particular vegetation.

Sacramental superiority. Elevate drug use to a spiritual practice:

Refer to substances as "plant medicines" or "sacraments"
Claim that altered states provide direct access to spiritual realms
Look down on those who don't use psychedelics as spiritually stunted

Shamanic tourism. Appropriate indigenous practices for personal gain:

Attend ayahuasca retreats in exotic locations
Claim to be initiated into sacred traditions after brief experiences
Use cultural artifacts and terminology without understanding their context

Integration avoidance. Focus on peak experiences rather than lasting change:

Constantly seek the next "journey" or ceremony
Discuss your visions and insights ad nauseam
Neglect practical self-improvement in favor of chasing altered states

7. Reject organized religion in favor of spiritual individualism

Being a vegan is not only essential; it's also convenient for you as you'll get to more thoroughly hold realistic expectations about his birthplace being a place of mystical origins that gives birth to enlightened people because you've never been there before.

Religious criticism. Position yourself as above traditional faiths:

Mock religious beliefs and practices as outdated and superstitious
Claim that organized religion is a tool of oppression and control
Insist that your personal spiritual experiences are more valid than scripture

Eclectic appropriation. Cherry-pick concepts from various traditions:

Adopt appealing rituals or symbols without understanding their context
Mix and match beliefs from different religions to create a personalized spirituality
Claim to honor all paths while subtly suggesting yours is superior

Spiritual materialism. Replace religious devotion with consumerism:

Collect sacred objects from various traditions as decorative items
Attend workshops and retreats as spiritual entertainment
Invest in expensive "healing" technologies and modalities

8. Perfect the practice of meditation for spiritual dominance

The primary benefit of being more meditative is that it makes it easier to meditate, which then makes you more meditative, leading to more and better meditation.

Quantify tranquility. Turn meditation into a competitive sport:

Brag about the length and frequency of your sessions
Claim supernatural abilities gained through meditation
Judge others for their "lack of discipline" in maintaining a practice

Aesthetic meditation. Prioritize the appearance of meditation over actual practice:

Meditate in public places to be seen
Post serene selfies of your practice on social media
Invest in elaborate altars and meditation cushions

Spiritual bypassing through meditation. Use meditation as an excuse to avoid real-world responsibilities:

Retreat into lengthy meditation sessions when faced with challenges
Claim that worldly concerns are "illusions" to be transcended
Neglect relationships and obligations in pursuit of "inner peace"

9. Craft an awakening story to establish spiritual authority

Having a captivating story of awakening consists of one part creating the story, one part telling that story regularly, and one part telling the same people your story over and over again.

Dramatic narrative. Construct an compelling tale of spiritual transformation:

Include elements of struggle, despair, and miraculous breakthrough
Emphasize the depth of your previous ignorance to highlight current enlightenment
Incorporate mystical experiences or encounters with spiritual entities

Strategic vagueness. Keep details ambiguous to avoid scrutiny:

Use abstract spiritual terminology to describe your experiences
Claim that certain aspects of your awakening are "beyond words"
Deflect specific questions by saying the questioner isn't ready to understand

Constant reinforcement. Repeat your story at every opportunity:

Share your awakening tale in spiritual gatherings and social media
Reference your transformation when giving advice or opinions
Use your story to establish authority in spiritual discussions

Last updated: May 6, 2025

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FAQ

1. What is "How to Be Ultra Spiritual" by JP Sears about?

Satirical Guide to Spiritual Superiority: The book is a comedic, satirical take on modern spirituality, poking fun at the competitive, self-important, and often contradictory behaviors found in spiritual communities.
Twelve and a Half Steps: It presents "12½ steps" to achieving "spiritual superiority," each lampooning a different aspect of spiritual culture, from yoga and veganism to gurus and plant medicine.
Parody of Self-Help Tropes: JP Sears uses exaggerated advice, faux-wisdom, and mock-seriousness to highlight the absurdities and ego-traps of the spiritual path.
Mix of Humor and Insight: While the tone is humorous, the book also offers genuine insights into the pitfalls of spiritual materialism and the desire to be "more spiritual than thou."

2. Why should I read "How to Be Ultra Spiritual" by JP Sears?

Entertainment and Laughter: The book is genuinely funny, using sharp wit and parody to entertain anyone familiar with spiritual or self-help circles.
Self-Reflection: It encourages readers to reflect on their own spiritual practices and motivations, exposing the ego-driven side of seeking enlightenment.
Cultural Critique: The book offers a clever critique of New Age trends, guru worship, competitive yoga, and dietary dogmas, making it relevant for anyone interested in modern wellness culture.
Accessible for All: Whether you’re deeply spiritual, a skeptic, or just curious, the book’s humor and accessible style make it enjoyable and thought-provoking.

3. What are the key takeaways from "How to Be Ultra Spiritual"?

Spirituality as Competition: The book satirizes how spirituality can become a status game, where people try to outdo each other in practices, diets, and enlightenment stories.
Ego in Disguise: It highlights how the ego can hide behind spiritual practices, turning humility, compassion, and non-judgment into new forms of self-importance.
Absurdity of Extremes: JP Sears mocks the extremes of veganism, yoga, plant medicine, and guru devotion, showing how they can become more about image than substance.
Humor as a Mirror: The book uses humor to reveal uncomfortable truths about spiritual superiority, encouraging readers to laugh at themselves and let go of pretensions.

4. What is JP Sears’ definition of "Ultra Spirituality" in the book?

Beyond Regular Spirituality: Ultra Spirituality is described as being "way more spiritual than spirituality is—it’s Ultra Spiritual," focusing on appearing and believing you’re more spiritual than everyone else.
Indefinable Superiority: It’s intentionally vague and impossible to define, but essentially means achieving spiritual superiority through outward signs and self-conviction.
Status Symbol: The book claims true spirituality is a status symbol, and Ultra Spirituality is about being recognized as the most spiritual in any room.
Satirical Critique: This definition is a parody, exposing the competitive and performative aspects of modern spiritual life.

5. How does "How to Be Ultra Spiritual" by JP Sears satirize competitive spirituality?

Quantifying Spiritual Practices: The book mocks how people use numbers (hours meditated, years on the path, number of crystals) to one-up each other.
Subtle Bragging: It highlights the art of humblebragging—making sure others know about your spiritual achievements without appearing to try too hard.
Social Media Spirituality: JP Sears lampoons the use of selfies, inspirational quotes, and online personas to gain spiritual street cred.
Tips for Out-Spiritualizing Others: The book offers tongue-in-cheek advice on how to "win" at spirituality, such as changing your name to something Sanskrit and attending expensive retreats.

6. What does the book say about emotions and needs in the context of spiritual superiority?

Emotions as Weakness: The book parodies the idea that emotions make you less spiritual, suggesting you should bury your feelings to thrive.
Needs as Spiritual Poison: It mocks the notion that having needs (for attention, affection, validation) is unspiritual, and offers absurd strategies for "amputating" needs.
Choose Happiness: The only acceptable emotion, according to the satire, is happiness—anything else is seen as a failure of spiritual practice.
Denial and Logic: The book humorously recommends denial, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, and logic as ways to avoid feeling inconvenient human emotions.

7. How does JP Sears lampoon awakening stories and spiritual narratives in "How to Be Ultra Spiritual"?

Contrived Narratives: The book shows how spiritual teachers often create dramatic, carefully crafted stories of awakening to justify their authority.
Formula for a Good Story: It breaks down the anatomy of an awakening story—pain, adversity, transition, and unprovable special powers—encouraging readers to fabricate their own.
Mocking Authenticity: JP Sears satirizes the idea that the story matters more than actual transformation, poking fun at the need to convince others (and oneself) of one’s enlightenment.
Destination Over Journey: The book ridicules the cliché "it’s the journey, not the destination," insisting instead that being "awakened" is the only thing that counts.

8. What is the book’s take on yoga, veganism, and other spiritual lifestyle choices?

Yoga as Performance: The book parodies Western yoga culture, focusing on aesthetics, stretching, and seduction rather than inner growth.
Veganism as Moral Superiority: It mocks the self-righteousness and competitive aspects of veganism, suggesting that being vegan is less about compassion and more about being better than others.
Lifestyle as Identity: JP Sears highlights how spiritual practices become identity markers and status symbols, often overshadowing their original purpose.
Absurd Rituals: The book exaggerates rituals like post-yoga selfies, juice cleanses, and spiritual fashion to show how they can become empty gestures.

9. How does "How to Be Ultra Spiritual" by JP Sears critique gurus and spiritual authority?

Guru as Parent Replacement: The book jokes that spiritual seekers replace their parents with gurus, who provide rules, community, and a sense of belonging.
Qualities of a "True" Guru: It satirizes the idea that a real guru should be male, foreign, dead, possess special powers, and require financial support from followers.
Blind Devotion: The book mocks the rules of being a good devotee, including never questioning the guru and performing acts to gain favor.
Secondhand Enlightenment: It highlights how followers gain "enlightenment by association," parroting their guru’s words to gain spiritual status.

10. What does the book say about mindfulness, meditation, and mindfullessness?

Mind as the Enemy: The book parodies the idea that the mind is a "terrible waste" and that true spirituality means shutting off thought.
Mindfullessness vs. Mindfulness: JP Sears invents "mindfullessness," a practice of not using the mind at all, as a spoof on the mindfulness movement.
Meditation as Competition: The book mocks the obsession with meditation length, visibility, and talking about one’s practice as ways to gain spiritual superiority.
Absurd Meditation Advice: It offers over-the-top tips like meditating in public, posting selfies, and labeling every activity as a "meditation" for maximum spiritual credit.

11. How does "How to Be Ultra Spiritual" by JP Sears address plant medicine, psychedelics, and spiritual shortcuts?

Plant Medicine as Shortcut: The book satirizes the trend of using ayahuasca, mushrooms, and other substances as the fastest route to enlightenment.
Competitive Tripping: It mocks the social status gained from frequent, intense, or exotic plant medicine experiences, including the need to talk about them constantly.
Shamans and Ceremonies: JP Sears lampoons the qualifications of modern shamans and the commercialization of sacred ceremonies.
Addiction Denial: The book humorously denies the possibility of addiction to plant medicines, while highlighting the compulsive behaviors around their use.

12. What are the best quotes from "How to Be Ultra Spiritual" by JP Sears and what do they mean?

"Ultra Spirituality isn’t spiritual. It’s way more spiritual than spirituality is—it’s Ultra Spiritual." – This mocks the endless quest to be "more spiritual" than others, highlighting the absurdity of spiritual one-upmanship.
"It’s not about being better than other people. It’s about being more spiritual than other people, which is exactly what makes you better than other people." – A tongue-in-cheek exposure of how spiritual superiority is just another form of ego.
"If your name tells people how great you are, you don’t actually have to go through the hassle of being that great." – Satirizing the trend of adopting spiritual-sounding names for instant credibility.
"The least convincing way to be spiritual is to try to be convincing. On the other hand, being unconvincing is the most convincing way to be spiritual." – A playful jab at the paradoxes and performative humility in spiritual circles.
"Being the most humble person in the room means you’re better than everyone else in the room." – Exposing the competitive nature of humility in spiritual communities.