Let That Sh*t Go

Key Takeaways

1. Awareness: The Present Moment is Your Power

When you’re annoyed about something that happened in the past or worrying about the future...you’re missing the here and now, the tiny little moments your life is made up of.

Mindful Presence. The core of letting go lies in being fully present. Our minds often race between past regrets and future anxieties, causing us to miss the beauty of the present moment. This constant mental chatter increases stress and prevents us from experiencing life as it happens.

• Instead of letting your mind wander, try to observe the world around you.
• Focus on your senses: what do you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel?
• Practice gratitude for the simple things, like the smell of your shampoo or the trees along your commute.

The Observing Mind. To break free from the autopilot of your thoughts, cultivate your observing mind. This is the part of you that can watch your thoughts without judgment, like a detached observer.

• When you notice your mind wandering, gently bring your focus back to the present.
• Don't try to stop your thoughts; simply observe them as they come and go.
• This practice creates space between you and your thoughts, reducing their power over you.

Calm in the Everyday. You don't need drastic changes to find peace. It's about shifting your focus and being present in your daily routines.

• Use mundane tasks, like grocery shopping or folding laundry, as opportunities to practice mindfulness.
• Focus on each action as you do it, like walking to the dip aisle or washing your arm.
• This approach transforms chores into moments of calm, making peace accessible in the everyday.

2. Self-Love: You Are Your Greatest Source of Happiness

Regardless of what is happening around you, the only person who has the capacity to bring you endless happiness is you.

Self-Love is Selfless. Self-love is not selfish; it's the foundation for loving others unconditionally. When you love yourself fully, you have more to give to others.

• Think of love as a glass of water: if your glass is empty, you can't pour into others.
• Self-love helps you make informed decisions and avoid taking external feedback too seriously.
• It's about enjoying yourself more, because you're the one you'll spend the rest of your life with.

Ditch the Guilt. Guilt is a self-inflicted emotion that often accompanies self-care. It's a waste of energy that prevents you from enjoying the present moment.

• When you feel guilty about treating yourself, tell your chatty mind to "Shut the fuck up."
• Remember, you can only do your best, so leave the rest.
• Getting rid of guilt makes it easier to be present and enjoy the good things in life.

Positive Self-Talk. Many of us are our own worst critics, with negative thoughts running on autopilot. These thoughts are often subconscious and stem from past experiences.

• Start by identifying your negative self-thoughts and the emotions associated with them.
• Replace negative thoughts with positive ones, starting with "I am..."
• Remember, these thoughts are not who you are at the core; they are just a small part of you.

3. Acceptance: Surrender to What Is, Control What You Can

Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it.

The Illusion of Control. So much of life is beyond our control: traffic jams, weather, other people's actions, and even major life events. Trying to control everything leads to frustration and stress.

• Accept that the external world will continue to swirl like a hurricane.
• Focus on what you can control: your reactions, your thoughts, and your actions.
• This shift in focus allows you to find calm in the eye of the storm.

It Is What It Is. Acceptance is about letting go of the need to control the past or the future. It's about embracing the present moment as it is, without judgment.

• Regret and worry are uniquely human traits that take you away from the present.
• Acceptance helps you deal with the need to control and get to a peaceful headspace.
• When you accept things as they are, you remove a lot of anxiety and emotional exhaustion.

Control Can Be Toxic. The more you try to control things, the more thrown off you'll get when they don't go your way.

• When things don't go as planned, you have a choice: get swept up in the chaos or be the calm in the center.
• Accept that the external world will continue to swirl and lean into your calm within.
• The key is to look within yourself to find calm and happiness.

4. Perspective: You Are Made of Fucking Stardust

You don’t have to feel weird or bad for finding happiness in your new house, or your morning cup of coffee, or some fries, or a new phone. Experiencing happiness from all these things is incredible. You just need to know that they’re a source of temporary happiness. Permanent happiness comes from within you and can be fostered through calming the mind.

Macro vs. Micro. We often get caught up in the micro perspective, stressing about small, daily issues. Perspective is about shifting to the macro view, seeing the big picture.

• When you're stressed, ask yourself if it's really a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
• Think about all the things you're grateful for, like your health, family, and friends.
• This shift in perspective can reduce your stress levels and increase your happiness.

The Miracle of You. You are made of stardust, a collection of atoms that are also found in the stars. The odds of you existing are almost zero, making your life a miracle.

• Remember that you've already won the lottery by being alive.
• This perspective can help you appreciate the preciousness of each moment.
• Focus on what you do have, not what you don't.

Negative Thoughts Have Impact. Negative thoughts can have a physical impact on your body. Dr. Emoto's water experiment showed that positive words create beautiful crystals, while negative words create disfigured ones.

• Remember that 70% of your body is made of water.
• Every time you have a negative thought, you're essentially turning your molecular snowflakes into warped piles of broken-down shit.
• Choose positive self-thoughts to create a healthier internal environment.

5. Authenticity: There's Only One Magical You

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.

Embrace Your Uniqueness. There is no one else on this planet who is meant to do what you are here to do. Your intellect, personality, passions, and essence are yours alone.

• The more you own who you are, the less you'll be bothered by your shortcomings.
• Living authentically leads to more contentment, happiness, and inner confidence.
• It's about being true to yourself, even if it means not fitting in.

Ditch the Shoulds. The word "should" is dangerous because it takes you away from who you want to be. It pushes you to be more like someone you're not.

• Identify the "shoulds" in your life and ask yourself where they came from.
• Are they your own values, or are they coming from external pressures?
• Let go of the shoulds that don't align with your authentic self.

Speak Your Mind. It's important to say what you mean and do what you want to do, even if it makes your voice shake.

• When you speak your truth, you're no longer living as someone you're not.
• This can be scary, but it's also empowering.
• Your voice shakes because you know that being you sometimes means others won't be happy.

6. Forgiveness: Release the Weight of the Past

Forgiveness happens naturally as soon as you realize that the past cannot prevail against the power of presence.

Forgiveness is for You. Forgiveness is not about condoning what happened or making excuses for the person who caused pain. It's about releasing yourself from the weight of the past.

• It's about letting go of anger, bitterness, sadness, and resentment.
• It's about choosing to move forward, even if you can't forget.
• Forgiveness is a process, not a destination, so be patient with yourself.

Anger Hurts You. Holding on to anger is like holding a ball of fire; you're the one who gets burned.

• When you're angry, you're hurting yourself more than the other person.
• Acknowledge your anger, but don't let it consume you.
• Let it move through you, and then choose to let it go.

Walk a Mile in Their Shoes. To kickstart the forgiveness process, try to understand where the other person was coming from.

• This is not about making excuses for them, but about gaining perspective.
• Consider their past experiences, their struggles, and their motivations.
• This can help you see them as human beings, not just as the source of your pain.

7. Tech Zen: Find Balance Behind the Screen

We are basically in a relationship with our phone.

Tech as a Tool. Technology is a powerful tool that can enhance our lives, but it can also become a source of stress and distraction.

• Be mindful of how you use your devices and how they make you feel.
• Set boundaries for yourself, like not checking your phone before bed or during meals.
• Remember that real human connection is more important than virtual interaction.

Instant Gratification. We live in an era of instant gratification, where everything is just a click away. This can make us impatient and frustrated when things don't happen immediately.

• Be aware of your need for instant gratification and how it affects your behavior.
• Remember that some things in life take time and patience.
• Resist the urge to constantly seek instant rewards and focus on the process.

Close All Tabs. Multi-tasking can reduce your efficiency and make you feel overwhelmed.

• When you're working on something, close all unnecessary tabs and notifications.
• Focus on one task at a time to improve your concentration and productivity.
• This will help you get into a state of flow and get more done.

8. Mindfulness: The Art of Being Fully Present

Mindfulness is the energy that helps us recognize the conditions of happiness that are already present in our lives.

Mindfulness is Presence. Mindfulness is the art of being fully present in the moment. It's about being aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment.

• It's not about stopping your thoughts, but about observing them as they come and go.
• It's about creating space between you and your thoughts, reducing their power over you.
• Mindfulness is a practice that can be cultivated in any moment, anywhere.

Mindfulness in Action. All the tools we've discussed—awareness, self-love, acceptance, perspective, authenticity, and forgiveness—are ways to help you access the present moment.

• Use your observing mind to catch yourself when you're not present.
• Practice gratitude for the simple things in life.
• Remember that happiness is not out there; it's within you.

Mindfulness is a Journey. Mindfulness is not a destination; it's an ongoing practice. You won't always be perfect, and that's okay.

• Be patient with yourself and the process.
• Keep practicing, and you'll naturally get better at it.
• The more you practice, the more you'll experience the calm and happiness within.

Last updated: January 25, 2025

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