The Mindful Place of Calm Summary

The Mindful Place of Calm

Find Your Way into the Space Between Thoughts & Actions
by A. Paul Miller 2019 264 pages
3.76
17 ratings

Key Takeaways

1. Cultivate the Meditative Feeling as Your Foundation for Change

The Meditative Feeling transforms how you show up in the world, which then transforms how the world shows up to you.

The Meditative Feeling is the cornerstone of personal transformation. It consists of three elements: peace, calmness, and stillness. By practicing meditation techniques like candle gazing, nose-breathing, or hand awareness, you can create this feeling within yourself. The goal is to make this state accessible on-demand, providing a stable foundation for navigating life's challenges.

Regular practice is crucial. Aim for at least 10 minutes in the morning and evening. As you become more adept, you'll be able to tap into this feeling throughout the day, creating a reservoir of inner peace that makes you more resilient to external stressors. Remember, the success of meditation isn't measured by achieving a particular state, but by the consistent effort to practice.

2. Use the Wedge of Awareness to Create Space Between Thoughts and Actions

Into that space that separates thought and feeling from action, we need to insert a wedge.

The Wedge of Awareness is a powerful tool for breaking reactive patterns. By creating a mental pause between a triggering thought or feeling and your habitual reaction, you gain the opportunity to choose a more mindful response. This practice involves:

  1. Recognizing the moment of potential reaction
  2. Consciously pausing
  3. Reconnecting with your Meditative Feeling
  4. Choosing a response aligned with your higher self

With practice, this wedge can widen, giving you greater control over your behaviors and emotional responses. It's particularly useful in challenging situations, allowing you to maintain composure and act from a place of wisdom rather than impulse.

3. Implement SMART Goals to Track Personal Growth

We can achieve many successes by holding ourselves accountable to reach our goals.

SMART goals provide a structured approach to personal development:

  • Specific: Clearly define what you want to achieve
  • Measurable: Establish concrete criteria for tracking progress
  • Achievable: Ensure the goal is within reach
  • Realistic: Align the goal with your broader life objectives
  • Timely: Set a timeframe for accomplishment

By setting SMART goals for your spiritual and personal growth, you create a tangible path for progress. Use journaling to track your experiences and insights, focusing on both successes and areas for improvement. Remember, the journey of self-improvement is ongoing, so celebrate small victories while maintaining a long-term perspective.

4. Embrace Change as a Catalyst for Spiritual Evolution

Change is a bitter medicine. The medicine is always good for you, it just never feels that way at the time.

Change is inevitable and often uncomfortable, but it's essential for spiritual growth. Rather than resisting change, view it as an opportunity for evolution. When faced with challenging situations:

  1. Look for the lesson or growth opportunity
  2. Maintain your Meditative Feeling to stay grounded
  3. Reflect on past changes that led to positive outcomes
  4. Trust in the process of personal transformation

Remember that discomfort often precedes growth. By embracing change with an open mind and heart, you allow yourself to evolve and discover new aspects of your potential.

5. Find Self-Worth Within, Not Through External Validation

Sometimes we have to find self-worth outside ourselves in order to know what it'll feel like inside, but this is no more of a permanent solution than taking a painkiller because you have a bad tooth.

True self-worth comes from within, not from external validation. While compliments and achievements can temporarily boost your self-esteem, they don't address the root cause of low self-worth. To cultivate genuine self-worth:

  • Practice self-compassion and positive self-talk
  • Acknowledge your strengths and accomplishments
  • Set and achieve personal goals
  • Engage in activities that align with your values
  • Cultivate meaningful relationships based on mutual respect

By building a strong internal foundation of self-worth, you become less dependent on external validation and more resilient in the face of life's challenges.

6. Practice Non-Judgment and Self-Compassion

Judgment is like an iceberg, 10 percent above the surface is judgment of others, and 90 percent below the surface is judgment of ourselves.

Non-judgment is a key aspect of spiritual growth. When you find yourself judging others, recognize that it often reflects unresolved issues within yourself. Instead of harsh self-criticism or judgment of others:

  1. Observe thoughts and feelings without attachment
  2. Practice empathy and compassion for yourself and others
  3. Recognize the shared human experience of struggle and growth
  4. Use judgmental thoughts as opportunities for self-reflection

By cultivating non-judgment and self-compassion, you create a more peaceful internal environment and improve your relationships with others.

7. Live Spiritually by Balancing Inner Peace with Worldly Engagement

Live in your bubble of peace and wisdom, but do not retreat into it; use it as your anchor and belay from it as you walk out into the world, and not a fort whose walls you hide behind.

Spiritual living requires balancing inner peace with active engagement in the world. While cultivating inner stillness is crucial, it shouldn't lead to detachment from life's challenges and responsibilities. Instead:

  • Use your Meditative Feeling as an anchor in daily life
  • Engage with the world from a place of wisdom and compassion
  • Apply spiritual insights to practical situations
  • Maintain boundaries without becoming aloof or disconnected

By striking this balance, you can live a spiritually fulfilling life while positively impacting the world around you.

8. Transform Discordant Thoughts and Feelings Through Self-Awareness

Thoughts have life, they will fight to survive, they feed on self and others' pain. Despite what it may seem like, they are not insurmountable.

Self-awareness is the key to transforming negative thought patterns and emotions. To address discordant thoughts and feelings:

  1. Identify recurring negative patterns
  2. Explore the root causes and underlying beliefs
  3. Challenge and reframe limiting thoughts
  4. Replace negative self-talk with compassionate alternatives
  5. Practice mindfulness to observe thoughts without attachment

Remember that transformation is a process. Be patient with yourself as you work to rewire ingrained patterns. With consistent effort and self-compassion, you can cultivate a more positive and empowering internal dialogue.

9. Understand the Power of Your Voice and Consciousness

Your voice is the power to heal and create, the power to injure and destroy. Your voice is your consciousness.

Your voice – encompassing your words, tone, and manner of speaking – is a powerful tool for shaping your reality and affecting others. To use your voice consciously:

  • Choose words that align with your highest values
  • Speak from a place of compassion and wisdom
  • Be mindful of the impact your words have on others
  • Use your voice to uplift and inspire rather than criticize or demean

By recognizing the power of your voice, you can become a more effective communicator and a positive force in your relationships and community. Remember that your voice reflects your level of consciousness, so cultivating inner peace and wisdom will naturally improve how you express yourself.

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