Wisdom from the Four Agreements

Key Takeaways

1. The World is a Dream: Your Reality is a Projection

“What you are seeing and hearing right now is nothing but a dream.”

Mind creates reality. The world we perceive is not an objective reality, but rather a dream created by our minds. Our thoughts, beliefs, and interpretations shape our experiences, making our individual realities unique. This concept is similar to the idea that "perception is reality."

Dreaming while awake. The mind is constantly dreaming, both when we are asleep and when we are awake. When awake, we perceive the world through a material frame, which gives us a linear perspective. When asleep, the dream is more fluid and less structured.

• The "dream of the planet" is the collective dream of society, which includes all of its rules, beliefs, and laws.
• We are born into this dream and learn how to dream it through our domestication.

Personal responsibility. Understanding that our reality is a dream empowers us to take responsibility for our experiences. We are not victims of circumstance, but rather the creators of our own realities. This awareness is the first step towards changing our lives.

2. Domestication: The Root of Suffering

“I call this process the domestication of humans.”

Learned beliefs. Domestication is the process by which we are taught how to live and dream by the humans around us. This process involves the transfer of beliefs, rules, and concepts from the outside world into our minds.

• We learn what to believe, what is acceptable, what is good and bad, and what is right and wrong.
• This process is similar to how we domesticate animals, using a system of punishment and reward.

Loss of authenticity. Through domestication, we lose our natural tendencies and become copies of others. We pretend to be what we are not in order to please others and avoid rejection. This leads to self-rejection and a feeling of not being good enough.

• We develop a need for attention and become afraid of not being accepted.
• We create an image of perfection that we can never live up to.

Inner Judge and Victim. The domestication process creates an inner Judge that uses our belief system to judge everything we do. This Judge creates guilt, shame, and self-punishment. The Victim is the part of us that carries the blame and suffers under the tyranny of the Judge. This cycle of judgment and suffering is the root of our unhappiness.

3. Be Impeccable with Your Word: Speak Truth and Love

“Your word is the power that you have to create.”

Power of the word. Our word is a powerful tool that we use to create our reality. It is through the word that we express our thoughts, feelings, and intentions. The word can be used to create beauty, love, and heaven on earth, or it can be used to destroy everything around us.

• The word is like a seed, and the human mind is fertile ground.
• Misuse of the word is black magic, while impeccable use of the word is white magic.

Impeccability defined. To be impeccable with your word means to use it correctly, in the direction of truth and love. It means not using the word against yourself or others. It means taking responsibility for your actions without judging or blaming yourself.

• A sin is anything you do that goes against yourself.
• Self-rejection is the biggest sin.

Gossip as black magic. Gossip is the worst form of black magic because it is pure poison. It is the way we spread our personal poison and keep each other in a state of fear and doubt. By being impeccable with our word, we can break the spell of gossip and create a more loving and truthful world.

4. Don't Take Anything Personally: It's Not About You

“Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”

Personal importance. Taking things personally is the maximum expression of selfishness. We make the assumption that everything is about "me." This is a result of our domestication, where we learn to believe that we are responsible for everything.

• We live in our own dream, in our own mind, and others live in theirs.
• When we take things personally, we try to impose our world on their world.

Projections of others. What others say, do, and think is a reflection of their own agreements, beliefs, and experiences. It has nothing to do with us. When someone insults us, they are dealing with their own feelings, not with our worth.

• If we take it personally, we take their poison and make it our own.
• If we don't take it personally, we are immune to their poison.

Freedom from offense. When we don't take things personally, we are no longer offended by the actions or words of others. We are free from the need to defend our beliefs and create conflicts. We understand that others are dealing with their own issues, and we can choose to respond with compassion rather than anger.

5. Don't Make Assumptions: Seek Clarity, Not Drama

“Whenever we make assumptions, we’re asking for problems.”

Assumptions and misunderstandings. We have a tendency to make assumptions about everything. We assume we know what others are thinking or doing, and we believe our assumptions are the truth. This leads to misunderstandings, conflicts, and emotional poison.

• We only see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear.
• We create fantasies based on our assumptions.

Communication breakdown. Making assumptions in relationships is a recipe for disaster. We assume our partners know what we want, and when they don't meet our expectations, we feel hurt and betrayed. This is because we don't have the courage to ask questions and seek clarification.

• We justify our assumptions to feel safe.
• We lie to ourselves to make ourselves right.

The power of questions. The way to avoid making assumptions is to ask questions. We must have the courage to seek clarity and communicate our needs and desires. When we stop making assumptions, our communication becomes clean and clear, free of emotional poison.

6. Always Do Your Best: Live Fully, Without Regret

“Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less.”

Dynamic best. Our best is not a fixed standard, but rather a dynamic one that changes from moment to moment. It depends on our physical, emotional, and mental state. Sometimes our best will be high quality, and other times it will not be as good.

• We should always do our best, regardless of the quality.
• If we try too hard, we deplete our energy. If we do less than our best, we feel regret.

Action for love. When we do our best, we take action because we love it, not because we expect a reward. We enjoy the action itself, and we are not attached to the outcome. This is the key to living a fulfilling life.

• Most people work for the reward and resist the action.
• When we do our best, we are productive and good to ourselves.

Ritual of life. Doing our best is a ritual that we can incorporate into every aspect of our lives. We can honor our bodies, our minds, and our spirits by doing our best in everything we do. This is a way of saying, "I love you, God," by living our lives fully and gratefully.

7. Breaking Old Agreements: Reclaim Your Freedom

“The freedom we are looking for is the freedom to be ourselves, to express ourselves.”

Domestication as imprisonment. We are not free because the Judge, the Victim, and the belief system do not allow us to be who we really are. We are controlled by the parasite in our minds, which feeds on our negative emotions.

• We have forgotten what freedom really means.
• We do things to please others rather than ourselves.

Awareness as the first step. The first step towards personal freedom is awareness. We must become aware that we are not free and that our minds are controlled by the parasite. Only with awareness can we begin to change our lives.

• We must challenge our beliefs and discover that most of them are not true.
• We must become dream masters and create our own realities.

The Toltec path. The Toltec path to freedom involves three masteries: the Mastery of Awareness, the Mastery of Transformation, and the Mastery of Intent. By breaking our old agreements and adopting new ones, we can reclaim our freedom and live a life of joy and fulfillment.

8. The Warrior's Path: Control Your Emotions

“The warrior has control. Not control over another human, but control over one’s own emotions, control over one’s own self.”

Emotions and energy. Every day we wake up with a certain amount of energy that we spend throughout the day. If we allow our emotions to control us, we deplete our energy and have nothing left to change our lives.

• Our emotions shape our perception of the world.
• When we are angry, everything around us is wrong. When we are sad, everything is sad.

The wounded mind. The human mind is like infected skin, covered with emotional wounds. These wounds are filled with the poison of fear, anger, hate, and sadness. We must heal these wounds by forgiving those who have wronged us, not for their sake, but for our own.

• Forgiveness is the only way to heal.
• We must forgive ourselves and accept ourselves just the way we are.

Discipline of the warrior. The warrior has awareness and control. They are aware that they are at war with the parasite in their minds, and they have the discipline to control their emotions and behavior. They refrain from expressing their emotions at the wrong time, and they are impeccable with their word.

9. The Initiation of the Dead: Embrace Life Fully

“The angel of death can teach us to live every day as if it is the last day of our lives.”

Death as a teacher. The angel of death can teach us how to be truly alive. It reminds us that we can die at any moment, and that we should live each day as if it is our last. This awareness helps us to let go of the past and live fully in the present.

• We should treat the people we love with love because this may be the last day we can tell them how much we love them.
• We should not fight with others because we don't know if we will see them again.

Symbolic death. The initiation of the dead is a symbolic death that kills the parasite in our minds without harming our physical bodies. In this process, the old dream that we have in our minds dies forever.

• The Judge, the Victim, and the belief system die.
• We are left with the memories, but the parasite is gone.

Resurrection and freedom. Those who survive the initiation of the dead receive the gift of resurrection. They arise from the dead, free to be themselves again. They are like children, wild and free, but with wisdom instead of innocence. They are able to use their own minds and run their own lives.

10. The New Dream: Create Your Heaven on Earth

“Why not dream a different dream? Why not use your mind, your imagination, and your emotions to dream heaven?”

Choice of perception. We have the power to change our perception of reality at any time. We can choose to see the world with different eyes, and we can choose to create a new dream.

• We can use our imagination to see love coming out of everything around us.
• We can live a life where we are free to be who we really are.

Heaven within. Heaven is not a place we go to after we die, but rather a state of mind that we can create here and now. It is a place of joy, happiness, and love, where we are free from conflict and suffering.

• We can create our own personal heaven by changing our beliefs and agreements.
• We can live in heaven while we are alive.

Living the new dream. The new dream is a life where we are impeccable with our word, we don't take anything personally, we don't make assumptions, and we always do our best. It is a life where we are free to love, to be happy, and to express ourselves fully. This is the path to personal freedom and the creation of heaven on earth.

Last updated: January 25, 2025

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